They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
