Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
