A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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