I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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