Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize