This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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