Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
