it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
