Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
