Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
