WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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