I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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