Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
