How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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