Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
