Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
