dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize