OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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