i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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