did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
