I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
