I'm so fucking centered right now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize