No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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