Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
