The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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