Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
