Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
