I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dear god my vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
