How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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