Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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