Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
