The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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