going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
