i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
