I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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