I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
