Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
