So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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