She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
