Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
