talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
