The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
