my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish you could order shots online.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
