If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
