Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Randomize
