i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
