we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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