my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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