Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
