Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
