I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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