i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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