I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
