She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
