before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
