fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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