I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
