no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize