HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
