I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
