Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize