Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
