Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"