Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Please, let me fuck your mom
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma