even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.