You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here