Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE