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I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
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