yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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