She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
