Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
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I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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