I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize