4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
